vent fest..

I hate waiting around for maintenance men. Especially annoying is that there seems to be no rush to get hot water in our downstairs bathroom again, despite the fact my husband kept saying "we need to call them and get that fixed". The problem started a couple weeks before the baby was born.. I didn't feel like dealing with the guy who fixes stuff, because I'm tired of him randomly showing up whenever. (I had management make a note to call first before coming over, but apparently they couldnt' be bothered. And I have to keep the chain on my door 24-7, to make sure he doesnt' just walk right in- like when I'm nursing or taking a shower or something). So then David was home for 2 weeks, and I kept asking him if he called.. nope. So I finally called the Thursday before he went back to work, hoping the guy would come the next day (that's pretty much the standard wait period). Of course not! Of course when I want him to come, he doesn't... a week later, he's still not here. So I guess I'm getting a taste of what my old tenants when thru with our old maintenance guy. Hey- at least I did my best to get his ass out to fix stuff. I hated to keep people waiting.

Another annoying thing- car insurance. I called Allstate TWICE to get a quote on car insurance. It was supposed to be nearly 1/2 what we paid in California for a 6 month policy. We went to get insurance the day after I got home from the hospital, and you know- I couldn't even tell you what the hell we're paying, except that it's at least what we paid in CA. I was like "Hey! What about that quote we got?!", to which David said he knew nothing about (um.. I'd only mentioned it several dozen times- there'd be no other reason to go with these people). On top of that, we are now paying for renter's insurance (which I'm sure we need, but it's more money going out). It just annoys me so much. All I know is the damn bill for both renter's and auto better come on one piece of paper. I'll write the checks and send them out, but other than that, I want nothing to do with it.

I'm also feeling annoyed/confused/?? when it comes to the issue with my dad. I dont want to get into it really, aside to say that I was rather emotional about it before Matthew was born, and now that he's here, I'm probably more so. I was grateful for the whole birth thing, because it took my mind off the topic for a while. Now it's back on my mind again. (I honestly think my husband would rather not discuss it. He took me out to eat and said we'd talk- after I wrote him an e-mail telling him everything that's been on my mind- but we never did have that talk, and the subject has been pretty much avoided in general. I don't know whether to be thankful or upset. LOL). Right now I pretty much want to forget that I ever heard anything about dad's health. It would make life so much easier. Isn't that terrible? Sigh..

[I have been having a ton of dreams about the subject, anyway. Night before last, I had a dream that I went to a family get-together, and my dad was there. Instead of avoiding him like I did at my nephew's birthday party over a year ago, I came up to him.. hesitated, but then gave him a hug. I also told him I loved him. Believe that my feelings of anger about the past have not gone away, because there's a lot I just can't quickly forgive or forget. But anyway, I still feel concern and sadness about his health. Anyway, funny that in my dreams, my dad didnt' look any different for having cancer- except that he was really short. LOL At least that's the best my imagination can do right now. I'm not up for imagining anything worse].

ok.. end of vent fest. today.