being honest...

This week has been really rough on me.. compounded by the fact that Lauren keeps waking up (for good!) at 4:30. ACK!! I can't stand this!! She wants to play, and I am SO NOT IN THE MOOD!! And though sometimes I can get her to nap for another hour or so, usualy I have to wait until she's been up for a couple of hours. By then, I need to be up for the day.. so a couple hours sleep lost to me. Then she'll be extremely cranky, whining for apparently no reason, and I say "hey!" just to get her to focus on something (like anything but crying) for a second. Sometimes she'll quiet down, other times she just cries louder. Usually I try to say (in a controlled, but somewhat loud voice) "Lauren. Calm down. You're Ok." I feel badly for getting snappy, and I tell her later that mommy loves her, but that it's very difficult for me to be happy when I can't figure out what's making her cry. Last night, I just tuned her out. She lay there next to me on the bed, whimpering about something- I dunno what. I just let DH come in and pat her back and try to entertain her. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I went into the kitchen and did the dishes.