Sometimes I really hate dreams.

There's this guy I used to have a crush on in high school. Cute guy.. or at least he was until he basically dumped his girlfriend after she had hip surgery (the anesthesia damaged her brain somewhat, and I heard that in the hospital, she was hearing voices). For a while, she didn't even know who people were. I would call on occasion, because I really got to like her. We still keep in touch. However, he turned out to be a jerk (in my opinion). Somebody I just wanted to kick in the ass a couple hundred times, for good measure.

But in my dreams, a part of me (I guess) still wished he would have liked me. Years later, my dreams have become more of him at least noticing I'm alive. But last night was one of those dreams where he reverted back to being an asshole. Somehow he found a diary of mine, where I wrote I had a crush on him. We were in the high school gym. I was sitting on one side of the gym with my cat Alfie (don't ask why, but I rarely dream about her anymore, so I'm cool with that).. and then he was on the other side with a girl from our class. I see him with this diary, and I start to wonder what the hell he's reading. Then I see I have another copy of the diary in my hand, so I start to thumb through it to see what I wrote. I see a naked picture of me, cut just at the lower hair line, if you get my drift. Suddenly I'm freaking out. Then he gets up with the girl, to leave. I leave first, then they come outside behind me. At some point they're kissing. Then he starts dissing my diary and what I wrote about him. I called him a jerk, and told him I wished Alfie would claw his eyes out. LOL Then I ran to my locker... they followed, and he starts calling me a liar about the stuff in the diary. I called him some more names while I got on the swing.

Ah, the days of high school. This guy really did turn out to be a jerk, by all accounts. He got married, his wife got pregnant, and I guess he freaked. They were living at his parent's house at the time, and he basically took off on her. She was suddenly a single mom- he couldn't handle the responsibility. Apparently he even wanted her to have an abortion, but she said no way. I swear- people are just so wrong sometimes. Hopefully by now he's stepped up to the plate and become a man and a father to his child.

You ever wonder what's happened to all those people you hung out with in school? What they've done with their lives? What about the people you really liked? In a romantic way? How well did you actually know them? If all things in life happen for a reason (which I think they do), we're all probably better off w/out them, in the long run. In some cases, I guess we're damn lucky we didn't get wrapped up in their shit. There's just some shit I'd rather not get myself wrapped up in, ya know?