I think it's funny how someone can be labeled "mean" for acknowledging that sometimes it's nice to choose not be insensitive to other's feelings now and then.

Apparently I'm a mean person because I feel that it shouldn't matter that some women don't breastfeed their children (for whatever reason- whether they can and simply choose not to, or simply physically cannot). It isn't my place to pass out information on the benefits of one form of feeding vs. another. I'm a mean person because I acknowledge the fact that we all "parent" differently, and sometimes it's nice not to go to someone's website (journal, posting board, etc) and read about how other women who don't breastfeed, carry their babies in slings, co-sleep, use cloth diapers, etc.. are somehow unfit or less caring towards their children. I'm mean because I apparently (as someone has said) not only don't see why a group of those who do things in a certain way would choose to ban together, but I also seem to lack the understanding of why someone can be so proud of the way they do things that they need to defend it at every turn.

*If you are fine with the way you parent, why defend yourself? Who cares what anyone else thinks?

*No one's telling you not to raise your child the way you see fit. Honestly, it's no one else's business.

I think it's great that women who are able to breastfeed, do. I would go further to say that I think the women who are able to breastfeed, are blessed to be able to provide that to their children. However, whether I nurse my child or not, that does not give me the right to give another mom unsolicited advice, or make her feel bad for the choice she has made not to nurse (if indeed she had a choice). As well, I do not feel the need to brag about my ability to nurse. I have no desire to quote pertinent articles on the subject (as I know not all of my readers nurse), and it serves me no specific purpose to advertise. (Why should anyone care how I feed my child? It's not affecting you personally, has no bearing on your own way of parenting, etc). That's my choice. I feel that this choice I have made is a good one for me, and shows that I can be sensitive to others who may do things differently than I.

I will NEVER (intentionally or otherwise, I hope to God) make someone feel bad for not parenting the way I do. I'm not about that. My journal isn't about that. My blog isn't about that. My life isn't about that. I screw up, and so do others. Unless you are physically harming your child, and unless you are phsyically harming me with your parenting choices, than what should I care what in heaven's name you do with your child?

My mother did not breastfeed my sister and I, and frankly I'm perfectly fine with that. We did wear cloth diapers, and honestly I don't have it in me to mess with them (And no, I have nothing against them). My mother didn't carry us in slings, but I bought one for Lauren because I thought it would be fun and convenient. My mother did not co-sleep with my sister and I, and yet I did try it with Lauren. All the research in the world will not replace my own experience with that, which showed me that it CAN be dangerous. So that is something we no longer do.

All this being said, I have NOT ONCE gone to someone's journal (or e-mailed them, left comments, etc..) suggesting that they were a freak for nursing, co-sleeping, using cloth diapers, etc. I may have questioned the specific aspect of parenting being discussed (because I didn't understand it or necessarily agree with it), but I did not ridicule them. What do I care what someone else does if it doesn't affect me? If it works for you, great. But don't call me "mean" because I don't understand the desire to bemoan others for not having the same lifestyle or opinion. Obviously you can write whatever you want in your journal. If I don't like what I read, I don't have to read it. Everyone is entitled to their own voice. I never said that people shouldn't express their desire to nurse, or even feel passionate about their choice and ability to do so. I just wish that sometimes I could go to a site I might otherwise enjoy, and not feel constantly bombarded by (even the subtlest of) messages. I don't get that from every mother's site I go to, and for that I'm very thankful.

There are journalers out there who I have tried to invest my time in, and have tried to form a bond with. Obviously there are some relationships I've been more successful with than others (I would hope Carrie and Krista, for example, to be two of them. I do respect them, and hope to continue my friendships with them). If I feel like I have truly created a bond with someone - whether they (more or less) parent the way I do or not (and really, if you engage most of the above, then to some extent you do) - then not only do I keep quiet about anything I disagree with, but I go out of my way to ask polite questions to that person, in hopes I can understand them a bit better.

Generally speaking, I do respect others. I respect women who love their children. I respect mothers who can see that maybe some of the ways they express themselves show a bit of insensitivity to others. I've been described as being "hypersensitive" about this subject... No. I'm just trying to not be insensitive. I'm sorry if some of you see something wrong with that.